Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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