Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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