Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I need a beard to bite.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
