so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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