i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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