she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize