I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
