Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize