I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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