At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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