i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize