this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
