He disabled his match.com account in front of me
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
