Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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