He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
