Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
