I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
