Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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