Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
