WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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