what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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