I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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