i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize