Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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