At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
