1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
