I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
