thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
