He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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