he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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