you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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