My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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