At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just had sex on a roof
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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