Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
