Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
