my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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