my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
