is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
