i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
