He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
