all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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