Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
