3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
