Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
