Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
