i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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