Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
