Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
