is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize