i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
