This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
