I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
