All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
