FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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