My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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