i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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