I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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