I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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