Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
