i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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