i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize