doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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