She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
