the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize