I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
