Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
