After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize