I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
