After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
