even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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